THOUGHTS

10/19/25: I don't really like my job. I feel like I have no career prospects. Applying to other jobs makes me feel absurdly inadequate. I rarely get a call back. I have only been offered a couple of jobs since I have graduated. I figure that I must be doing something wrong. Maybe my resume is lacking. Maybe I suck in interviews. Maybe its both. At the very least I wish I had some idea of what needs to be done

10/25/25: I am trying to think about what I can do in my life to increase the amont of happiness in my life. I have thought about moving to another city, not to say i've gotten offers. I don't really have any friends that would keep me in this area. There is just my family, who I sometimes feel I would appreciate more with some distance. I drive about 2.5 hours every day and I feel like if I moved the increased free time would make me a lot happier. I don't really know how much of a future I see in my current job, which makes me hesitant to move.

10/26/25: For the past couple of weeks I have kind of been having an existential crisis. I have had a deep feeling that I am running very behind in life and that if I am not careful my entire life is going to pass me by. I am stuck feeling lost and rudderless. I am not sure what I should be doing in my free time or what exactly I could do to make myself happier. When I think about things that make me happy in life, they are things that only bring a temporary happiness. Deep fulfilment and gratifaction are things that completely elude me. I don't really know what I am living for or what would make me feel really alive.

10/31/25: I am really bad at html. Even basic layout stuff I have to look up. I am bad at being bad at things. i get discouraged a little too easily. I am currently studing for the FE exam, which is needed to become a professional engineer(there are more steps beyond this preliminary step). I have been trying to think of what could really help me in my career. I have a degree in electrical engineering, but not a job in it yet. I really want a job that I can enjoy more. Part of the issue is that I feel like i'd take any real engineering job given to me. I don't really care what the specialization is. IThat just makes it harder to know what to study in the little free time that I have. I'd like to devote more time to learning to build a website, but I really have so very little free time at my disposal.